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There
is probably no period of time that passes more quickly than the time between
the first day of kindergarten and the last day of high school. And there
is probably no parent or senior for whom the last year of high school
is not filled with some of the greatest life transitions either will ever
experience. "Mommy, don't leave me!" at the kindergarten classroom
door is all too quickly replaced with, "Mom, I'll just die if you
show up at school!"
1700
seniors in nine high schools make up the Class of 2001 in the District
of San Francisco. How have our schools supported these young people, and
their parents, during the fragile transitions that accompany senior year?
By being Lasallian communities, communities of faith. And much faith is
often needed as seniors and their parents learn to meet one another on
the new and unfamiliar mutual ground of adulthood.
The
educational tradition founded by Saint John Baptist de La Salle is based
on practices he prescribed for the loving care of each individual student
as a child of God, mirroring the care of a parent for a child. The Founder's
writings remind teachers often that students are entrusted to their care
by God Himself. So, too, parents entrust their children to the care of
the Lasallian high school, faithful that four of the most crucial years
of their children's lives will be touched by the philosophy that first
attracted them: Our schools are schools where students are nurtured,
loved, and educated in a caring, moral, and Christ-centered environment.
In this environment, their children's lives will become necessarily, inevitably,
and increasingly separate from their own. In the Lasallian school, this
transition takes place within a new, extended family of administrators,
trustees, teachers, staff, counselors, coaches, alumni, friends, and other
families who share the journey and support one another along the way.
Walk
with Them
The
extended family at a Lasallian high school kicks into extra-high gear
during senior year, supporting students and parents as they experience
many new emotions and make many important decisions. It is in the context
of the Lasallian educational tradition that ordinary senior transitions
become extraordinary – the care and dignity of each child within
a community of faith.
"Senior
year is difficult for kids and their parents," says Bruce Halverson, Guidance
Counselor at Napa's Justin-Siena High School. "It's the first time kids
aren't matriculating from 2nd to 3rd grade, or from 9th to 10th grade,
and all this uncharted territory is exciting and stressful for students.
It can make senior parents frantic, and they get into micro-managing their
children. These aren't short adults; they're tall children, and they need
a lot of support from Mom and Dad, including letting them make decisions,
and yes, make mistakes. Senior parents sometimes forget to stop all the
planning for the future, and just talk to their kids, to really be with
them through all the confusion that comes with the transitions the kids
and the parents are going through. At Justin-Siena, we try to 'be Lasallian'
and 'walk with' the seniors, to help them have confidence in their decision-making.
And we support parents in doing the same. Hopefully, we're not just preparing
seniors to get into college, but we're also preparing them for all the
new experiences they'll have when they get there."
College!
"The
stress level is palpable – and contagious," says Janet Hack, Saint Mary's
High college counselor. "All doors seem open, all dreams seem possible.
Yet, seniors feel the pressure to work harder, serve more in the community,
and make the most of their last year of high school activities." District
high schools' college counselors met at Mont La Salle in January 2001
to discuss their critical role in the final steps of a student's high
school life. Keeping seniors and parents abreast of the magnitude of today's
college information can be daunting. But Lasallian high schools are challenged
by a deeper issue. "Lasallian schools face a 'college-prep' dilemma,"
shared Mary Hesser of Sacramento's Christian Brothers High School. "The
outside world's perception of what college-prep means can often be far
different from our internal meaning, and we have to try to balance the
two," transitioning students into college, helping families find resources
to afford college, and encouraging students and parents to step back and
thoughtfully consider what's ahead. Mary Fitzpatrick of La Salle High
School in Pasadena remarked, "There really is an element of God's call
in all of this college effort. We can encourage students to ask, 'Where
does God lead me? Who can I be, and what will it mean?'" The daily prayer
of college counselors in the District is, "What does this young person
need from me, God?"
New
to the college counselor role is Brother Dan Fenton, FSC, teacher at the
LEO Center's after-school tutoring program in Oakland, now in its seventh
year. A number of LEO's first students are now high school seniors. "These
are some of the same kids who have brought their homework to us daily,
some for over six years now," says Brother Dan. "LEO staff members have
encouraged them when their grades were low and congratulated them when
they improved. We have pushed and prodded, coaxed and cajoled, escorted,
accompanied, and occasionally dragged these astonishing young people through
the entire spectrum of academic endeavor. And now we need to see them
successfully through the next big step." Responding to that need, Brother
Dan and the LEO Center staff have embarked on a new mission, guiding LEO
students through the "academic obstacle course" of college search and
application.
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Adults
often refer to high school as practice for real life. For young
people, it is real life. And for seniors, it is an exercise
in balancing present and future.
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Mixed
(Up) Emotions
Adults
often refer to high school as practice for real life. For young people,
it is real life. And for seniors, it is an exercise in balancing
present and future – focusing on studies, activities, service, and
social lives, while spending hours on college research, campus visits,
and applications. Parents and teachers, meanwhile, balance a need to make
sure it all happens (and on time) with their desire to give seniors the
opportunity to become proficient at prioritizing and "multi-tasking."
More often than not, these young people prove themselves to be remarkably
capable, motivated, mature, patient, and resilient. And yet, sometime
around the beginning of second semester, all that balancing can make some
seniors a little (or a lot) dizzy, resulting in an ailment commonly known
as senioritis. "We spend a lot of time with the seniors during the
third and fourth quarters," says Rudy Schulze, Assistant Principal
at Concord's De La Salle High School, which enrolls over a thousand teenage
boys. "The dean of students and dean of studies meet with every senior
in danger of failing, offering them a 'personal invitation' to pass their
failing classes. We talk with the seniors frequently about leaving high
school. We remind them that because they have been given much, much will
be expected of them in giving back through service. We remind them to
say 'thank you' to their parents, teachers, and coaches."
What's
Lasallian about all of this? Says Schulze, "It's the very practical 'stuff'
about being in the holy presence of God. We're very proud of our boys,
even though we have to do a lot of reminding in the last months of school,
because they're in a very playful mood. We have to teach them how to tell
time again, so they'll be on time for graduation practices and senior
events. We have to teach them their colors again, so they know we mean
business when we say they have to wear a white shirt to graduation. We
have to teach them which forks and spoons to use for dinner at the senior
ball. We tie their ties for them on the big days. And we make sure they
are as ready as they can be for the bright futures filled with promise
that lie before them."
Religion
classes play a significant role in senior year. By design, second semester
classes focus on spirituality, meditation, and prayer, providing seniors
time for introspection and opportunities to put the busyness of their
daily lives into God's hands. District Vocation Director, Brother James
Joost, FSC, shared the advice he gives to graduating seniors: "If your
faith is important to you, be sure to check out the campus ministry center
during your first couple of weeks of college in the fall. As you adjust
to life in the first semester, you'll be glad to have found a place that
operates from the viewpoint of creating positive and fulfilling connections."
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These
aren't short adults;
they're tall children,
and they need a lot of support
from Mom and Dad,
including letting them make
decisions, and yes,
make mistakes.
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Friendships
On
a senior's journey, perhaps the most important branch of the school's
extended-family tree is that of friends, who provide camaraderie, support,
and challenges that parents and teachers cannot.
Friendships
made in high school can last a lifetime. But when you're 17 and 18, a
"lifetime" is a long way off. What sounded so exciting back in September
– the prom, graduation, college – is tinged with sadness as spring rolls
around and with it, the reality of the short time left together. "I don't
want to grow up," admitted one District senior with tears in her eyes.
"Everyone always says how great senior year is. But it's a lot of hard
work, especially all those college applications. And it's really hard
to think about leaving your friends."
In
May 1936, the seniors at Saint Mary's High in Berkeley felt the same way.
They held their first reunion in 1937 at the Fairmont Hotel in San Francisco,
for $2.50 per person! And except for two years during the second World
War, the Class of '36 has met every year since graduation, most recently
this past April at the Brothers' residence on the school campus – 65 years
after graduation. And for the sixty-fifth year in a row, they asked, "What
can we do for the school, Brother?"
Three-year-old
La Salle High School in Yakima, Washington, will graduate its first senior
class this spring. The strong bonds among the pioneer seniors will endure,
as will their contributions. "The seniors have had the unique opportunity
to establish many school traditions, like the school ring, school colors,
and the mascot," shared Brother Daniel Morgan, FSC, Principal. "But they've
also had a big responsibility," he added. "Not only have they led the
way for the new group of underclassmen that entered La Salle each year,
but the eyes of the local communities have been on the new school, and
the seniors have represented the Lasallian tradition well."
Contact
with their most recent graduates is important to District high schools'
alumni departments, holding reunions to bring the new college freshmen
together at Christmas break, or getting feedback on how well students
were prepared for the realities of college. At Cathedral High School,
Los Angeles, and several District schools, members of the 50-year "Golden
Grads" class are welcomed back, some receiving special anniversary diplomas
at graduation. Their presence and example provide inspiration and reassurance
to seniors just beginning the rest of their lives.
In
Gratitude and Prayer
Activities
that bring seniors and their parents together, from intensive college
information nights to poignant senior family liturgies, culminate on graduation
day, with grateful parents, grateful teachers, grateful graduates. It
is the hope – the expectation – of each school, that its seniors will
carry with them the spirit of the Lasallian family and the faithful care
they have received.
The
entire Lasallian family extends its hands in blessing over our senior
men and women, asking God to keep them safe, and hoping always for their
happiness and peace. Our boundless and abiding love is our greatest gift
to them, and we thank God for the wonderful gift they are to us. We, and
they, hold each other close, with open hands, as the journey continues.
Jeanne
Gray Loughman, Manager, Public Relations & Information Services, is the
mother of Michael Loughman, Saint Mary's College High School, Class of
2001.
Question:
As you read this article, what other thoughts, people or stories came
to mind? Please share your ideas with us (email signs@dlsi.org); we will
publish responses in future issues of Signs of Faith.
Below
are two articles by High School Seniors
Honest
Truths:
Fleeting Comments Before Graduation 2001
Jessica Guitron
How
could I possibly speed your heart rate so that you could understand
the sense of urgency that has kept my pen going so many nights? Or how
could I s l o w it to reveal the calm high of relief that has
balanced my nerves time and again? Once you can keep up with this tumultuous
pace, then you will know what my last year of high school has been like.
Looking
back, I feel confident that my growth over the past four has given me
ample preparation for college and, in effect, the rest of my life. I have
been able to live out St. John Baptist de La Salle's visions for a nurturing
student-teacher relationship: "'By the care you have for them show
them how truly dear they are to you.'" My teachers' sincere interest
in my development, not only as a student, but a person as a whole have
given me the motivation to stay devoted to challenging myself as well
as sharing such comforting support with those around me. Although I have
undoubtedly experienced my share of peaks and valleys, the warm sense
of family that I have become a part of at my high school, has nevertheless
remained a constant. Though this support may seem simple, it continues
to fuel my success as a student and an individual. In the reflective state
that I often find myself in during this time of uncertainty and transition,
I know that I could not feel more spiritually, emotionally, and academically
prepared for the challenges of college than I do now.
At
the heart of every senior I would say that there are two "selves"
that rise and fall within us throughout the year. One "self"
exists completely aware of the task(s) at hand, understanding the imminence
of change. Depending on whether one feels prepared for such change or
not, this "self" may trigger feelings from anxiety to eagerness.
I can only parallel this feeling to getting strapped into a roller coaster
and looking straight into the sky as you hear the click, click, click,
click, click of the chains into which you have just entrusted your life.
The other "self" serves as your subconscious endurance, the
calm and collected force that has driven you through rough times, and
helped you breeze through the GOOD TIMES. At 17 years young, I realize
that I am in the blossoming springtime of my life. Surely each season
has its features to cherish, but I know that I cannot let these precious
moments slip by without enjoying them. I have been able to make the most
of my high school experience. Beyond gaining efficiency in the standard
subjects, I have had the chance to grow in expressing myself and sharing
my life with the people and communities around me.
I
entered high school in 1997 as a curious Freshman. I now prepare to depart,
not as an all-knowing senior, ut as a confident young woman aware of the
boundless opportunities for my future, and eager to question and improve
myself and the world around me even more.
Learning
from the Experience
Justin Servillon
As
I reflect upon these last exhilarating four years of high school, I find
a sense of fulfillment knowing that I have done my utmost to make my experience
as rewarding and memorable as possible. I can say with much conviction
that my voyage has shaped who I have become today. These experiences helped
form my personal morals and beliefs that I stand by.
I
look back at my senior season playing football and my Ven A Ver trip to
Tijuana as high points of my high school life. Yet quite different, both
allowed me to test myself and reveal what type of person I would like
to become. As a na•ve freshman, I struggled to find out how I fit into
the scheme. Not until this year did I truly grasp the essence of being
a students in a Christian Brothers high school.
Coming
into senior year, I anticipated a varsity season of football full of triumph
and memories. Unexpectedly, I broke two bones in my wrist six days prior
to the first game of the season. I felt devastated knowing that everything
I had worked for was instantly taken away from me. But with the help of
my teammates and friends, I found that my presence alone showed the support
I had for my team. I developed the patience needed to stay in control
of my emotions and waited the six weeks for my cast to come off. Fortunately,
I played in the final two games, salvaging a portion of the season. It
seemed ironic that my individual growth came from being injured, rather
than from playing on the field.
At
the conclusion of my football season, a group of our teachers, students
and I traveled to Tijuana, Mexico on Ven A Ver, a spiritual learning trip
focused on service. We arrived to spend several days helping impoverished
communities build new schools. For two days, at two separate locations,
we shoveled, mixed, lifted, and worked alongside of the communities of
rural Tijuana. Only until our bedtime did I realize the powerful impact
I had made with these people. I helped build a structure that would house
the education of these peoples' families for generations to come. The
welcoming feeling of the community overwhelmed me. I felt the people I
had met in Tijuana provided my spirit with an epiphany I would not have
found elsewhere. Consequently, our trip to Mexico coincided with the actual
teachings of St. John Baptist de La Salle, who wanted to provide education
for the poor in France. Finally, I saw my true self solely from the works
I had participated in. I realized the importance of serving others and
how the benefits reciprocate to both who receive and give.
High
school life has been anything but simple, but you realize the significance
of your own simple actions by staying in the moment and by allowing your
own spiritual self to take over.
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